Kingdom Of Heaven
Filed Under: Film, Reviews | Article Tags : DVD review
By: The Dweeb
October 2005
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You know, I have not seen this film before but somehow it all seems strangely familiar. Where have I seen this I wonder.. Alexander? Troy? Gladiator? Braveheart? Actually, if you have seen any of these films, you have seen Kingdom Of Heaven, although it one of the weakest when stood next to the other ones. Well, maybe Troy and Alexander are probably on the same level as this film but they came out of the gate much earlier this year. All three have something in common though, they spent a ton of dough on putting these historical epics together only to have the results turn out rather lackluster.
Kingdom Of Heaven is a film that could have been, if only they chose not to fill such big shoes. What could have been a real emotional rollercoaster, as the topic of the Crusades still is a hot button issue in that part of the world. It could have been controversial, possibly exploring why things are the way they are, and how that has affected our history since then. But instead Director Ridley Scott churns out a melodramatic pile of mush and glosses over this historical aspect by distilling it down into one key line in the film (“What is Jerusalem? Your holy palaces lie over the Jewish temple that the Romans pulled down. The Muslim places of worship lie over yours. Which is more holy? The wall? The Mosque? The Sepulchre? Who has claim? No one has claim.”) Choosing instead to focus on the gratuitous violence and half ass completed story arcs. Characters motivations are never explained and we are left to deduce what the heck is going on and why.
The film is hampered with too many characters who serve no purpose, cutting off the chance to see who the real players are and their backgrounds. Like the addition of Sibylla (Eva Green), who implies she can be dangerous but doesn’t get any further than that. She just rides in and out of the film when its time for Balian to kiss a chick and spends the rest of the film with a tear in her eye watching from a balcony. Huh? Did I miss something? The writing is disjointed, one scene cuts to the next and it feels like we skipped a chapter. Too much time is spent on fluff and exposition.
Kingdom Of Heaven takes a really long time to get moving, the first hour is mostly talk, with characters who we think will be with us for the duration of the film like Godfrey (Liam Neeson in a similar role in Batman Begins) and his band of bearded merry men. Only to find out they are either killed, or just walk off the set. So then we get a new batch, and those people are either barely seen in the film or they too walk away from the camera. What gives? Hey I liked the first bunch better, bring them back!
I understand that this is supposed to be a story of redemption for Balian (Orlando Bloom), or some kind of life altering journey. One day your a blacksmith in crappy medieval France with a dead wife and the next your a Baron in some place near Jerusalem. Its like he won the lottery. Sure doesn’t seem too happy about it though. Balian is the reluctant hero, thrust into greatness but not by his choice. He spends a lot of time either brooding or digging new wells when he’s not disemboweling people. Orlando was OK in this film, but I don’t think he can carry this type of movie on his own, he’s more suited as a second tier team player I think. Nice “French” accent there buddy. He will forever be an Elf badass to me from Lord Of The Rings.
The hook for this film of course is the siege of Jerusalem. Yeah when we finally get to see some heart pounding action, what the audience showed up for in the first place. Unfortunately it only lasts for a short period and the conclusion is rather lame. Movies are like NASCAR sometimes, people only watch it for the crashes and here too I demand more bang for the buck. I suppose the wind was taken out this films sails with such massive assaults already seen in films like Return of The King that nothing will ever live up to the hype again.
But a technical scale, as most modern films go this is damn good. Your choice of Dolby or DTS for the sound married with a crisp image, although many parts of the film are quite dark. The beginning of the film makes you wonder if one of the color guns went out on the TV its so bleak. Once we get to the desert, the oranges and reds that are prevalent remind you how hot and gritty it is in the desert. Where is my water?
If you are a sucker for extras on DVD’s, this edition will certainly not disappoint. Since there is so much material to cover, the second DVD is split into several larger sections, and the meat and potatoes portion is in this production grid. A good way of organizing it I may say. There was so much material on this grid I couldn’t finish it. A&E and The History Channel promotional television shows are on here, as well the internet promotions leading up to the release of the film. Its an all encompassing set, Kingdom Of Heaven overload really.
I would have to say that overall, the extras are nice, but this film just didn’t do it for me. You may decide for yourself however once you have seen it of course, but I would rent it first.
Reviewer’s Opinion: RENT IT!!
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